LITTLE BRITAIN STYLE VOICE OVER FOR START OF JONATHAN ROYLE’S 2012 COMEDY HYPNOSIS SHOW….
Obviously this will be voiced over suitable background music including the Little Britain Theme and such.
I am looking for someone who can do all of the impressions of the characters below (or several people who between them can record all the necessary sections to have this edited together)
If your able to do this, please inbox me directly on royle@magicalguru.com with an example of your work (eg of these characters) and also an idea of how much you’d charge me to record this ….
This has been Legally copyrighted – so other Hypnotists – you have been warned!
BUBBLES DE VERE (Owes Money To Mr. Hutton)
HELLO DARLING’S – CALL ME BUBBLE’S – EVERYBODY DOES…
NOW MR. HUTTON DARLING, I’VE DECIDED DARLING , I’M NOT GIVING YOU THE
CHEQUE DARLING UNTIL THIS WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAMME WORK’S FOR ME
DARLING,
AFTER ALL YOUR IN THE PRESCENCE OF A VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN DARLING AND I DESERVE ONLY THE VERY BEST
MAJORIE DAWE’S
GOOD MORNING FAT FIGHTER’S – NOW BUBBLE’S MY DEAR OUR WEIGHT LOSS
PROGRAMME IS THE BEST BY FAR – YOU JUST EAT DUST –LOT’S OF DUST –
THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S LOW IN FAT….. DUST.. SO BE A DEAR AND GIVE MR. HUTTON THE CHEQUE
BUBBLE’S DE VERE
NO MAJORIE MY DARLING YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I WON’T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING
LESS THAN PERSONAL TREATMENT FROM THE TOP HYPNOTHERAPIST TO THE STAR’S
DARLING. SO GET ME JONATHAN ROYLE DARLING AND THEN Mr. HUTTON GET’S HIS
CHEQUE OR WE CAN COME TO SOME OTHER ARRANGEMENT .
MR. MANN (I’ll wait in shop)
ACTUALLY I’D LIKE TO SEE THAT JONATHAN ROYLE HYPNOTIST GUY AS WELL –
I’VE HEARD HE DOES AN EXCELLENT SHOW DO YOU HAVE ANY OF HIS DVD’S?
ROY THE SHOPKEEPER
I’M AFRAID I DON’T THINK WE HAVE ANY HYPNOTIST DVD’S. SO I’M NOT SURE
WHAT TO SUGGEST REALLY – I’LL JUST CHECK – ONE MOMENT
MARGARET – MARGARET –
MARGARET SHOPKEEPER’S WIFE
YES DEAR
ROY THE SHOPKEEPER
I’VE GOT A MAN HERE WHO WANT’S TO KNOW IF WE HAVE ANY DVD’S OF THAT
HILARIOUS COMEDY HYPNOTIST JONATHAN ROYLE?
MARGARET SHOPKEEPERS WIFE
NO DEAR BUT WE DO HAVE A DVD ON THE BOTTOM SHELF OF THAT OTHER
TELEVISION HYPNOTIST OR HE COULD GO AND WATCH JONATHAN ROYLE
LIVE ON STAGE TONIGHT.
ROY THE SHOPKEEPER
WELL HOW STRANGE. I’M AFRAID WE DON’T HAVE ANY JONATHAN ROYLE
DVD’S BUT WE DO HAVE THIS DVD FROM ANOTHER TELEVISION HYPNOTIST
OR YOU COULD GO AND SEE JONATHAN ROYLE PERFORMING LIVE ON STAGE
TONIGHT.
MR. MANN (I’ll wait in shop)
ACTUALLY I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS PAUL McKENNARY.
SO I’LL WAIT. (BIG PAUSE) FOR ROYLE’S LIVE SHOW TONIGHT.
MICHAEL (PRIME MINISTER)
A HYPNOTIST SHOW TONIGHT YOU SAY – WELL SEBASTIAN IS THIS GUY JONATHAN
ROYLE LEGAL – INSURED – SAFE & ETHICAL?
SEBASTIAN
YES PRIME MINISTER – HE’S A FULLY TRAINED – LICENSED AND INSURED ETHICAL
HYPNOTIST WHO HAS TRAVELLED THE WORLD WITH HIS COMEDY SHOW.
TING TONG
YES INDEED THAT JONATHAN ROYLE IS AMAZING – HE EVEN MANAGED TO
MAKE MY Mr. DUDLEY BELIEVE THAT I AM A REAL LADY.
EMILY HOWARD & FLORENCE
LADIES THING’S – AFTER SEEING JONATHAN ROYLE’S LAST SHOW WE
ARE NOW LADIES & WE DO LADIES THING’S..
HARVEY (MAN DRINKS TIT MILK FROM JANE)
BITTY – BITTY – ALL I WANT IS BITTY AFTER THAT ROYLE GUY
TURNED ME INTO A BABY ON STAGE..
DES KAYE
HIYA GANG – WIKEY WOO – DES KAYE HERE FROM TV’S FUNBUS
AND SINCE JONATHAN ROYLE HYPNOTISED ME AND MADE ME
BECOME MICHAEL JACKSON MY CAREER AS A KID’S ENTERTAINER
HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME – WIKEY WOO – DES KAYE OUT OF A JOB
SIR BERNARD CHUMLEY
ARGH THAT YOUNG TALENTED JONATHAN ROYLE – YES OF COURSE AFTER HE
HYPNOTISED ME I’VE NEVER EATEN ANOTHER POLO MINT. AND HE HELPED MY SISTER
KITTY OVERCOME HERE FEAR OF HEIGHTS ……. I DID’NT PUSH HER….. SHE FELL..
VICKY POLLARD (Improvise the rubbish she says between the key points below)
WHAT YOU LOOKING AT PERVERT – YES BUT NO BUT …. WELL ACTUALLY RIGHT THAT
JONATHAN ROYLE GUY NEVER DONE NOTHING…… HE’S INNCOCENT…. I – N – N….
INNOCENT … DON’T GO BELIEVING A WORD THOSE NEWSPAPERS SAY – AND STOP
GIVING ME EVIL’S – THAT SARAH FROM CLASS 3 IS LYING RIGHT –
ROYLE NEVER HYPNOTISED ME INTO THINKING HE WAS A HOLLYWOOD
SUPERSTAR – AND YES I AM EDCUATIONALLY SUBNORMAL – ANYWAY DON’T LISTEN
TO HER AS EVERYONE KNOW’S SHE’S DONE IT WITH AN ALASATIAN BEHIND THE BIKE SHED’S.
LINDA FLINT
HELLO MARTIN – IT’S LINDA. YES…. NOW I’VE GOT A QUICK ENQUIRY FOR YOU…
I’VE GOT SEVERAL PEOPLE HERE WITH ME IN THE OFFICE THAT ARE SLIGHTLY
STRANGE. NOW HOW CAN I DESCRIBE THEM? – THERE’S A WOMEN WHO THINKS SHE’S
POPSTAR MADONNA, A MAN WHO THINK’S HE’S ELVIS PRESLEY, A WOMAN WHO
THINKS SHE A MARTIAN AND A MAN SQUAWKING LIKE A CHICKEN.
YES THAT’S RIGHT I’VE GOT FOUR VOLUNTEER’S HERE FROM JONATHAN ROYLE’S LAST HYPNOSIS SHOW.
DR. LAWRENCE (Anne’s Doctor)
ACTUALLY WE’RE MAKING VERY GOOD PROGRESS AND STAGE HYPNOTISM WAS
DECLARED COMPLETELY SAFE BY THE UK GOVERNMENT IN 1995.
LOU – CARER
THAT’S VERY TRUE BUT YOU SHOULD NOT VOLUNTEER TO TAKE PART IF YOUR UNDER 18
ANDY
YES I KNOW
LOU
AND BY LAW JONATHAN ROYLE IS NOT ALLOWED TO HYPNOTISE YOU IF YOUR
ASTHMATIC, EPILEPTIC, CLINICALLY DEPRESSED, PREGNANT OR SUFFERING
ANY SERIOUS MEDICAL ISSUES SUCH AS HEART PROBLEM’S.
Dr. LAWRENCE
AND DON’T FORGET AS I KEEP TELLING ANNE YOU SHOULD NOT VOLUNTEER
IF YOU HAVE ANY SERIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBELEM’S
ANNE
Egghhhh – Eggghhhhh – Eggggh
ANDY
YES I KNOW – BUT I DON’T LIKE IT
LOU
YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT
ANDY
I DON’T LIKE THOSE STUPID LAW’S
LOU
NOW DON’T GO CAUSING A KUFFUFFLE – WE ALL NOW THAT YOU’VE
ALWAYS SAID THAT STAGE HYPNOSIS IS A COMPLETELY SAFE FORM OF HILARIOUS
ENTERTAINMENT ALLOWING THE AUDIENCE TO BECOME THE TRUE STAR’S OF THE SHOW.
ANDY
YES I KNOW
LOU
SO WOULD YOU STILL LIKE TO SEE ROYLE’S HYPNOSIS SHOW TONIGHT
ANDY
YES I WOULD
KENNY CRAIG
WELL IN THAT CASE LOOK AT THE STAGE – LOOK AT THE STAGE
NOT AROUND THE STAGE BUT AT THE STAGE – YOUR UNDER
IN A FEW MOMENTS TIME YOUR GOING TO ENJOY THE MOST
AMAZING SHOW YOU’VE EVER WITNESSED
DENNIS WATERMAN
I COULD STAR IN IT – WRITE THE THEME TUNE – SING THE THEME TUNE
JEREMEY RANT – SHOWBIZ AGENT
NO DENNIS I DON’T REALLY THINK THIS IS YOUR THING,
DENNIS WATERMAN
OH ALRIGHT THEN
KENNY CRAIG
PLEASE PAY ATTENTION AND LOOK AT THE STAGE
NOT AROUND THE STAGE BUT AT THE STAGE – YOUR UNDER.
COULD WE HAVE SOME PROFESSIONAL STAGE LIGHTING
READY TO WELCOME JONATHAN ROYLE TO THE STAGE
PLEASE?
CAROL BEER
THE COMPUTER SAY’S NOOOOO………..
RAY McCOONEY (Scottish Guy With Hotel)
YEAHESS….
I HEAR YA TALKING ABOUT JONATHAN ROYLE……..
SOME ASK ME IF I’M HIS BIGGEST FAN – MAY BE I AM AND MAYBE I’M NOT…
BUT RIDDLE ME THIS AND RIDDLE ME THAT
WILL HE MAKE YOU THINK YOU’RE A DOG
OR MAKE YOU THINK YOU’RE A CAT….
YE KNO TOO MUCH… YEAHESS
KENNY CRAIG
FOR THE LAST BLOODY TIME – CAN EVERYBODY PLEASE PAY ATTENTION..
LOOK AT THE STAGE NOT AROUND THE STAGE BUT AT THE STAGE – YOUR UNDER.
DAFFYD
LADIE’S AND GENTLEMEN, HE’S NOT GAY HE’S JUST A LITTLE BIT PUFFY…
PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER AND WELCOME LIVE ON STAGE
THE ONLY HYPNOTIST IN THE THEATRE TONIGHT…
BRITIAN’S VERY OWN – JONATHAN ROYLE
© JONATHAN ROYLE – 2011.
ALL RIGHT’S RESERVED.
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